Thursday, May 23, 2013

My husband found a two month old text today...

It was from his stepmother.  Back at Christmas, my husband called his dad and was told about how his long lost daughter came out of the woodwork all of a sudden.  My father-in-law told my husband about how his kid called and, of course, didn't want to hear anything about her real dad.  It didn't occur to my father-in-law how mean it was for him to tell my husband about this on Christmas Day.

Anyway, I got pissed... and my mind got to working, since the kids are always close to the ex... I decided to unfriend my husband's stepmother on Facebook because while she had told us the ex was persona non grata in their house after all the shit she's pulled, she and my father-in-law are not the most resolute people.  Stepmother-in-law is not very mature and often speaks with a forked tongue.  I didn't want the ex popping over by surprise and the two of them going on my Facebook.  I didn't want my husband's ex daughter friending my husband's stepmother and then having a link to me.  So I unfriended stepmother-in-law and blocked her.

Months later, she sent my husband a text that he missed because it wasn't identified as coming from her.  It was full of guilt about how my husband's dad is getting old and he's all she had... and she hoped she hadn't made him angry.  She said that since I had unfriended her, they couldn't keep up with us anymore...

Well... here are a few facts.

1.  Stepmother-in-law never once interacted with me on Facebook, except for game requests.  I didn't even know if she noticed the things I posted.  She never reacted to them.  I didn't know not having access to my posts was such a hardship.

2.  Stepmother-in-law is very two faced and doesn't hesitate to change her viewpoint depending on the company she keeps.  She and ex were buddies and it wouldn't surprise me if they got together again.  If ex showed up on her doorstep, especially if she had the kids with her, stepmother-in-law would happily invite her in.  Of this I am certain, even though she makes fun of the ex.

3.  I was pissed at father-in-law for facilitating yet another intrusion from my husband's ex wife on a holiday.

4.  Despite my husband's father's "advanced age" (he's younger and healthier than my own dad is), he can still pick up a phone and even manages to do so on rare occasions.  Stepmother-in-law can also email or make phone calls.  And yet they never do.  It is always incumbent on my husband to call or visit them.

5.  While I never wanted to alienate my husband's family, they have generally treated me like an interloper.

6.  It's interesting that stepmother-in-law would send that text a couple of months after the last time my husband called his dad.  And it went undiscovered for a couple more months... so she probably thinks we're holding a grudge.  She likely resents it, even though she's been known to make people "dead to her" many times.

7.  This whole thing is now going to make a visit with them even more stressful.  My husband is prone to guilt, so he's going to feel pressure to visit them, but I'm disinclined to go with him.

*Sigh*... I wish I could be the type of person who rises above everything and just be patient with my husband's stepmother, but I seriously have gotten to a point in my life at which I have no patience for this shit anymore.  Life is short.


  1. I don't think the wack job is I an way desergving of your patience. And I woulnd't want any social networking link betwwn mylf and the combined cluster of exes, either.

  2. Well, I think she just doesn't get how crazy my husband's ex is. I mean, she says she does, but I don't think deep down she knows what that woman is capable of doing. I know a lot of people would think this is petty... and maybe it is. I do understand that my husband's dad and stepmom just want a connection to the grandkids. But any connection they have with them will include my husband's ex wife, who really is batshit crazy and spreads shit wherever she goes. I want to minimize her access to me. There's too much personal stuff on Facebook for me to risk being friends with her if she's consorting with the ex's kids.

  3. The fact is most people don't realize just how dangerous Facebook can be. Social networking sites are not secure and easily exploited, because they rely on sharing personal information. For example, "Spear-Phishing" was listed in a 2012 study by Trend Micro as the most prominent Advanced Persistent Threat to information security. And over 80% of the targeting information used to "Spear-Phish" is gathered from sites like Facebook, MySpace,and especially LinkedIn.


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