Monday, May 27, 2013

Moving on, now...

My husband has the day off today.  As is his custom when he doesn't have to work, he's making breakfast.  He just came in here a few minutes ago, sat down at his desk and said, "We have a whole bunch of strawberries and bananas that need to be eaten.  Would you like some oatmeal today?"

I started laughing because it reminded me of an old George Carlin routine.  I said, "It sounds like you're offering me a job.  'Hey-- we have some fruit that's about to go bad.  Want to eat it?'  Or, as George put it, 'Eat this before I feed it to an animal!'"  As George points out, some people act like they're doing you a favor when they offer you food that otherwise, they're only going to "throw away"...

This is a pretty funny routine George did back in the day... I couldn't help but think of it when my husband offered me oatmeal this morning.  Of course, not having children, it's up to him or me to eat whatever's in our fridge getting "smaller and smaller".  And sometimes we just flat out fail.  Every once in awhile, we have to throw stuff out because it's gone bad.

I have to admit, I've done the bread thing, where you reach into the bread bag past the first couple of slices for a "good" piece.  I don't like heels, so I reach into the bread bag and search for a "better" slice.  Curiously enough, I don't throw out the heels.  Every once in awhile, I cook something that needs bread crumbs and they work well for that.  On the other hand, that rarely happens.  I should be more organized and just throw the heels out.  For some reason, I don't, though.

As I'm writing this, my husband is offering to boil an egg for me, to make sure I get my protein.  I can't help but chuckle about that.  He takes good care of me.  If I know my man, he'll serve the oatmeal with a wee dram of scotch, too.  Scotch is good in oatmeal.

Maybe instead of eating fruit that is about to go bad, we should do what Gallagher does...  smash it up with a big hammer.  Then we could throw it in some wine and make sangria.

Or we could just shoot it...

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