My husband's ex wife was right. Mormonism is the pathway to glory in the eyes of Heavenly Father. I have therefore decided that instead of moving to Texas, I will move to Provo, Utah, enroll at BYU, and start studying home economics. I am also finally pregnant with twins, since I finally got right with God in the "one true church" ™.
I will learn how to can, become super crafty, and make a scrapbook. I will quit drinking, stop showing my cleavage, and start attending church at all possible opportunities... I will compel my exmo husband to get back with the program and assume his penishood position as head of our household. I will start tithing ten percent of my gross income... and when I am worthy, I will don the so sacred underwear at all times.
And... if I should be so blessed to run into my husband's younger daughter at "The Lord's University", I will bow down behind her and kiss her ass for as long as she wants me to. I've been so, so wrong...
That's right... Darn it, I believe!
Betty Butterfield is my hero!
These women are my idols.
This is a pretty funny church video...