Sunday, March 3, 2013

D.H.... and other wacked out Army people

Today's post is going to be about old neighbors...  I've blogged about this before, but a conversation with someone who knew me and my husband when we lived on an Army post has inspired me to write about this again.  The reason I'm writing about this again is because some new information-- aka gossip-- came to light last night in a rather gleeful dish session with an old friend and former next door neighbor I'll call BFF.

If you go back to my original post about asshole neighbors on Army posts, you can get the back story about some of this.  This post is going to be about neighbors #3 and #5 from that post, as well as another neighbor that I did not vent about in the original post-- I'll call her #6.  Pay close attention and if you want to understand, please read the first post I wrote about this.

Done your reading??  Good.

In my original post about asshole neighbors, I wrote about a woman who came to our house one day and went off on my husband because he did a sloppy job of cleaning up after one of our dogs.  It was a very bizarre confrontation.  She had basically parked her green custom van in the middle of the street-- not in one of the many available parking spots nearby.  She stormed up our front walk, banged on our front door, and got my husband outside, where she proceeded to rip him a new one for missing a stray turd.  During her tirade, she actually threatened to shoot our dogs and call the MPs over a tiny piece of dog shit.  She is very, very lucky I didn't answer the door.  While I might have been shocked by her outburst, I would have welcomed a call to the MPs... at which point I would complain about her threats of violence on a military installation.

What came to light last night during a conversation with my old friend and former neighbor...

It turns out that around the time of that incident, my friend, BFF, had attended a bunco game hosted by the wife of a Colonel who had a teenaged son who took medications for ADHD.  Evidently, #3, the crazy bitch who reamed out my husband over dog shit, had cornered the Colonel's kid and convinced him to share some of his prescription drugs for ADHD with her.  I don't know what the boy was taking, but I'm guessing if it was for ADHD, it was some kind of stimulant.

A scandal ensued, mainly because this servicemember's wife had been messing around with prescription drugs illegally procured from a minor.  She claimed that she had only taken them to lose weight and be able to keep her house clean.  Makes me wonder if her husband was an ambitious type...

Neighbor #3 was friends with yet another neighbor, #6,... someone I didn't get to know that well when we lived on post.

My old friend and next door neighbor, BFF, used to tell me about #6 occasionally.  She would usually stop herself, though, because she was hesitant to gossip.  Or at least that's what she told me at the time.  Anyway, #6 had two teenaged sons.  She lived near #3 before we were all forced to move to new housing because our old houses were being demolished or renovated.  After we moved, #6 was BFF's next door neighbor and lived catty cornered to me.  The new housing was very close together, though several of us had houses that were not attached.

When #3 and #6 had lived in the old neighborhood, they had some kind of money scam going on.  #6 eventually got in big trouble at the PX and commissary for bouncing checks.  She used to con people into going to the commissary for her and buying stuff, then she would never pay them back.  BFF told me this woman also bought a car from the people who took our house when we moved to Germany and never actually gave them the money.  She let her son drive the car; he proceeded to have wrecks and then let the car sit on flats in their driveway for months.  I think #6's poor put upon husband finally worked out a payment plan to pay the people who never got paid for the car #6's kid wrecked.  BFF said the cops were forever at their house, too.

#6, by the way, showed up in Germany as we were leaving.  Her husband took my husband's job.  My husband said that his replacement had trouble renewing his security clearance because of his wife's antics.  BFF told me that #6 took a lot of prescription drugs as well... and sometimes was passed out due to them.  BFF got a phone call once and #6 sounded very out of it.  She got ahold of her husband and he said not to worry about it because his wife passed out all the time.

#6 was also always claiming personal injury or damage from corporations.  I remember her claiming that her dog ate tainted Iams dog food and had kidney failure that she was planning to sue over.  Later, when we saw her in Germany, she was on crutches and claimed that company that built that housing we'd lived in was negligent.  She'd suffered an injury that required surgery.  Now that I think about it, she was definitely hurt and I'm guessing it was an injury sustained during one of her drug use sessions.  Maybe she fell down the stairs while in a stupor.

Moving on...  I said this post would also be about neighbor #5, an asshole of a man who lived next door to us in our neighborhood.  He was a warrant officer, but everyone in our neighborhood outranked him because the neighborhood was for officers.  Since the housing was now being run by civilians, who apparently didn't understand military protocol and didn't get why officers and enlisted folks shouldn't live near each other, this warrant officer, who was one of the least friendly people I've ever met in the military, was hopelessly outranked by his neighbors.  That didn't stop him from being a colossal jerk, though.

In my original post, I wrote about how much this guy hated dogs.  He mostly left me alone, because I complained about his craziness quickly.

What came to light last night...

My husband told me that he'd spotted our ex neighbor at a "town hall" meeting on post here in North Carolina.  I sent a message to BFF about it.  She laughed and said that yes, she had forgotten to mention it to me.  Our former neighbor, not so affectionately known as D.H., has been transferred to the post where my husband now works.  This makes me even happier we're moving, though there's no chance I'll ever have to deal with him.

Anyway, BFF told me that this guy once threw a neighbor's daughter's roller skates in the trash because they were in the yard.  Not D.H.'s yard, mind you, the girl's yard.  Apparently, when he was confronted about it, D.H. said he was tired of having to dodge kids and their toys when he was backing out of his driveway.  When he was asked to apologize for his behavior, D.H. said "I shouldn't have to."

Later, BFF's husband was promoted to Colonel and D.H. suddenly started falling all over himself to kiss his ass.  It was disgusting, mainly because it was obviously very fake.

I swear, after hearing some of the stories that came out, I realize I'm not nearly as fucked up as I thought I was...  Now that I think about it, I remember several other folks who lived near me and turned out to be weird.  One couple was apparently "swinging" and, last we heard, were getting divorced.  They had a daughter who played with BFF's kids.  One day, the daughter invited BFF's daughters over and offered them beer.  Her parents had a Kegerator that she had access to.  Her parents also accused BFF's kids of stealing their kid's bike.

Another couple lived next to us for a few months.  One morning, I woke up to see a cop car and an ambulance out front.  The husband got in the ambulance and then they were suddenly gone.  The mailman/gossip later told me that they were kicked off post over domestic violence.

Right before we moved to Germany, a woman who lived near us asked me if I wanted her beagle.  She saw that I had beagles and figured I would want hers, even though I had two dogs and we weren't allowed more.  She said she was offering her up to us because she was moving abroad.  I said I was moving to Germany, too.  So then she asked me if I'd mind taking her dog with me on the plane because she and her family were going to Germany via cruise ship.  I remember when they first moved on post, one day she asked me if my dog, Flea, was available for stud service.  Flea, like all of my dogs,  was neutered.  They used to let their dog run loose and people thought she was mine because she was a beagle.  Incidentally, the husband in that family was odd, too.  He told me about how he enjoyed watching intact male dogs sniff his dog...

And finally, there was one couple who very suddenly split up one day when the wife decided she simply couldn't tolerate being an Army wife anymore.  She up and left, taking their kids with her.  Not long after that, their house was vacated.


  1. I have one comment and one question.

    Comment: The networks are missing out on one hell of a reality show, nit that the military would ever approve of it.

    Question: Do you know if legal action was taken against the bwitch who was taking the kid's Ritalin, Adderal, or whatever?

  2. To your comment, I say you're very right. It's amazing the craziness that lurks on Army posts.

    To your question, I say I have no idea. I would hope she'd be prosecuted. After that incident with her yelling at my husband, I did my best to avoid her. She was looney.

  3. I'm able to lose weight and keep my house clean without the assistance of prescription drugs. Maybe I've been doing it wrong all this time ;)

  4. When my mom was an Air Force wife, wives were expected to keep the home looking perfect at all times. Nowadays, that's not the case, even if you happen to live on a military installation. I wonder why she used "speed cleaning" as an excuse. And having seen the woman in the flesh, I can tell you that the pills weren't working.

  5. Was it common for military wives to go running for the shelter of mothers' (and Air Force wives; little helpers back in the day?

    My maternal grandma, who passed before I was born, was a boozer rather than a pill popper. That certainly wouldn't have helped her to keep her house any cleaner, although maybe she found the process a little less tedious under the influence of booze. As my mom and her sisters recall, the house was passable but not immaculate, and considerable slave labor in the form of seven children was used to keep the place up to code. My dad was easy-going as Air force pilots went (he, too, was known to enjoy a drink or two), and wasn't prone to throwing fits if one of the boys happened to leave the Rock'em Sock'em robots on the living room floor. He was even known to tote a vacuum on occasion.

  6. Well, I was a little kid when my mom was still an Air Force wife. I do recall that when we lived in England, there was a rather dotty woman who lived near us. My grandmother died when we were in England and my mom had asked her to watch me for a couple of hours each morning until my sisters got home from school. I was maybe four years old at the time. I'd walk to her house and their housekeeper would send me away. I wandered around the neighborhood until one of the other neighbors would take me in.

    Back in those days, people didn't think twice about sending their kids next door unsupervised! We lived on a base, too, so everyone around us was Air Force. When my mom got back from the States, the other neighbors talked to her about me and mom asked the neighbor what was up. It turned out she had completely forgotten the conversation. Maybe she was enjoying a little helper? Who knows. It's a wonder I survived childhood!


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