Monday, January 2, 2012

Here's a tip. Don't quote Dr. Phil or any other "talking head" if you want to appear wise...

It always amazes me when people use Dr. Phil quotes when they want to get the upper hand against someone else.  First of all, Dr. Phil is an offensive pompous ass who regularly disrespects the people who come on his show.  When he condescendingly asks "How's that workin' for you," he comes off like a self-righteous creep.  I think anyone who parrots that question deserves a good ass kicking.  It's the height of rudeness and disrespect, even though there are plenty of people out there who repeatedly make the same mistakes.

But if you are so inclined to offer someone advice or point out their mistakes, at least have the decency to come up with your own snappy catchphrase.  Quoting Dr. Phil is just plain dumb.  There is only room in the world for one Dr. Phil-- thank God.  Same goes for Dr. Laura, Oprah, Rosie O'Donnell or any other talking head on television.  Wise people don't need to recycle catchphrases from entertainers... which is exactly with Dr. Phil and his ilk are.  Moreover, asking someone in a sarcastic tone of voice "how it's working out for them" is only likely to make them defensive and angry.

Just to be clear about this, no one asked me "how it was workin' out" for me today.  However, I have been asked that in the past and it never made me laugh.  Instead, it made me want to smack the shit out of the person asking.  I thought about this today because I happened to stumble across an exchange on a message board at which some busybody 70 year old biddy asked another poster "how it was workin' out" for him.  The other poster got offended and hurled the same question back at the old biddy.  End result?  Both posters and riled up, offended, and still in conflict.  The 70 year old biddy then quoted Charlie Brown of all things.  She had to rely on a comic character to make her point.  That's real fuckin' wise.

There are better ways to be helpful.  There are more effective ways to point out to someone that what they're doing is counterproductive.  It's generally not helpful to be an all knowing smartass, certainly not if the other person is bigger, stronger, and meaner than you are.  Of course, when you're on the Internet, people are often very eager to be snarky, patronizing, sarcastic and just plain rude.  If you want to be rude and sarcastic, at least be original about it.  Come up with your own smartass remarks.  Don't use Dr. Phil-isms or quote comic book characters to get your point across.  Or just shut the fuck up.  Chances are, no one cares about your advice anyway.  But I could be wrong...

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