So yesterday, I was watching The Doctors and there was a woman on there who was an exercise addict. She worked out for four or five hours a day, explaining that as a child, she was taunted for being "chubby". Jillian Michaels sat down to talk with this woman, who was obviously reliving painful memories as she talked about growing up with her classmates throwing food at her and calling her a cow.
Jillian asked the woman about her childhood and it came to light that her parents had gotten a divorce. The woman was actually really charitable as she spoke about her father, saying that she didn't begrudge the fact that he had remarried and had two sons with his second wife. She said he was around when he was "needed", though she felt as if he had "forgotten" her. But Jillian piped up, saying he "emotionally abandoned" her.
I don't know. Maybe the woman's dad did, in fact, emotionally abandon his daughter. I don't know how Jillian Michaels can ascertain that, though, in the very brief interview she had with the compulsive exerciser. I'm certain that my husband's ex wife has convinced their daughters and everyone else in her sphere that my husband "emotionally abandoned" his kids. The fact is, he was kicked out of their lives and used. He was treated like a sperm donor with a wallet who needed to repent for the fact that his marriage didn't work out.
There are always at least three sides to every story. There are the two opposing viewpoints and the truth, which always gets buried to some degree when people with egos and emotions get involved with each other. The fact is, women are not always blameless when a relationship fails. Sometimes they are, in fact, the cause of breakups. And sometimes they don't encourage the children caught in the middle from having healthy relationships with BOTH parents.
Moreover, when marriages break up, that means that two people are now FREE to begin again with someone new. If that means they get married or become partners and have children together, that should be their right. I never hear anyone begrudge a woman for remarrying after divorce and having kids. Why shouldn't a man be allowed to do it without fear of judgment?
Personally, I believe that people should really know each other before they marry and before they engage in activities that can lead to childbirth. If you voluntarily have children with someone and it turns out they're no good, you are, in part, to blame. While people can make drastic lifestyle changes, they rarely change who they are at the core. If the person you had a child with is not the person you married or otherwise made a commitment to, chances are you committed too soon. Either that, or you're not being completely honest with yourself and your own role in your relationship's failure.
I am sorry that the woman on The Doctors endured taunting and bullying from her peers for being overweight. I'm sure that her father's absence in her life caused her great pain. But I don't think it's fair for Jillian Michaels to solely blame the woman's father for his daughter's troubles.