Monday, April 25, 2011

Why Easter means more to me now...

Eleven Easters ago, my dear spouse was handed divorce papers by his ex wife while they and their kids were visiting his father and stepmother.  My husband signed those papers and, within a few months, was free for me to date.  I didn't actually start to date my spouse until about a year after his divorce.  Nevertheless, since we're both pretty shy when it comes to dating, we needed the time.  Besides, we were in different states.

It later came to light that Ex didn't actually want a divorce and had used the threat of divorce as a means of manipulation.  But since my husband decided to grant the split, she decided to punish him financially, through exorbitant child support, and emotionally, by alienating his kids.

Eleven years later, he's a happy man.  He misses his kids and regrets their alienation from him, but recognizes that they're adults now and have to make up their own minds about things.  Not only did he survive divorce, he's thrived ever since, even though he left Mormonism.  That was a particularly scary thing for him to do, given the fact that he believed leaving Mormonism would spell doom.  He already thought God hated him for the divorce.

I'm sure it seemed highly inappropriate that Ex delivered her divorce papers on Easter, but to me, it was a very appropriate symbolic gesture.  Easter is all about rebirth and redemption... and happily, he is now redeemed and reborn into a whole, healthy person who can enjoy his life without verbal abuse, threats, and harassment.

And my life has been redeemed in that I finally found someone who loves and appreciates me for who I am.  In a sense, I am now reborn and redeemed.

While I'm not particularly religious, I do realize why Easter matters to so many.  It matters to me, too... more than it ever did in my past life.

Happy Easter.

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