Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Planning a road trip...

I used to enjoy a good road trip.  Maybe I still will on Thursday, when the spouse and I start heading northward to pick up my mom's old piano.  We'll be stopping along the way to see my dad in the hospital.  I haven't seen him or my mom in three years.  He's being hospitalized near where my sister lives in North Carolina. 

I have kind of a complicated history with my dad.  We didn't get along for much of my childhood for a lot of reasons.  One of the biggest ones is that he's an alcoholic who grew up during the Depression era.  Consequently, he often treated me like a farm animal.  He often didn't have a lot of respect for me as a person... although there were times when he showed some glimmers of pride in who I was.  But most of the time, he treated me kind of badly. 

Maybe that's part of the reason why I get so upset with my husband's estranged daughters.  They have a loving dad who would have done almost anything to have a relationship with them... at least until they became so incredibly alienated that they wouldn't so much as speak to him.  I guess I should feel sorry for them, since they are missing out on a wonderful father, courtesy of their mother's selfishness and crazymaking.  But while I'm very angry at their mother, I'm also angry at those girls-- even as I understand the difficult situation they're in.

In any case, I guess I can credit my dad with always being around and being a decent provider.  He has some redeeming qualities.  He did honorably serve his country for 22 years.  Many people like him, even if I haven't always.

It will be bittersweet to see the house I grew up in, pretty much empty.  I never actually liked the house that much, but it is where I spent most of my youth.  This may be the last time I ever go up that way for a long time...     

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